Balance of Great Expectations

When I was in high school, and then again in college, I tried to be depressed.  I tried to be negative and overwhelmed.  I tried to be full of anxiety and unable to see the way out.  I failed.  I found my way to optimism, I embraced opportunity, and I dove head first into challenges irregardless of obstacles.  Let me be clear right out of the gate: this is NOT a self help blog because as much as I was born with brown hair, I was born with the aforementioned resiliency.  I did nothing -- zip, zero, zilch -- it is just how I am wired.  But do you know what comes along with that yo yo like bounce back? Repeated disapointment from getting my hopes up.  Insert the sound: wah wah.

Glass half full?  Glass half empty?  I'm just super pumped I have a glass kind of girl.  My glass keeps getting filled over and over and over again because somehow there must be a leak in the bottom. Right?  How else do I explain the myriad of jobs I was convinced I had, the promotions I thought were slam dunks, the starting positions on teams I didn't get, oh and the perfect scores on tests that passed me by (ok well maybe that one I can explain....).  I am an eternal optimist who has to balance out Great Expectations and reality while trying really hard to stay present nearly every single day.  Ironic I know for someone who teaches (read practices) Mindfulness.  

In my mind Ignite Inner Balance is destined for greatness.  A total social phenomenon of Today show proportions.  So profound in vision and support for people that Oprah comes out of retirement to interview us.  BOOM.  In reality we are hustling for contracts, questioning daily if this was a good idea, and in private I look at job postings online because of my yo yo attitude. Probably only my mom (hi Penny!) knows the magnitude of my anxiety associated with success because the rest of you see my optimism and Great Expectations.  You think that attitude would be great right?  Necessary fuel for go getting?  For me I feel like it can be a hinderance for grounding myself in reality and being able to more clearly predict a path to success.  

I suppose the base of my balance comes from lifting other people up and filling their glass with optimism when they can't do it themselves.  I give them some of my borderline naivete excitement in exchange for their more leveled perspective.  I am a big believer in microsystems and how we interact with those in space creates a domino like experience.  So for now I will find peace in my ability to positively effect others perception of their abilities until my own cup truly runneth over.  Now does anyone have connections with Richard Branson?  I feel like he would really pick up what we are putting down ;) .